Yuuup, the quadruple S. Pretty sure the TSA thinks I'm a secret agent or something. Or maybe they just can't get enough of me and want to see me extra early at the airport. Either way, it's too bad it doesn't come with a free upgrade to first class. Boo.
I'm here to shake things up in the branding world. With our bold brand strategies and disruptive brand strategy, we prove that a brand can be both audaciously funny and impressively effective. Picture showing up in pajamas, bunny slippers in tow, and still crushing it in the market. That's the power of authentic, impactful branding.
Everything I know about business I've learned from Leslie Knope and Michael Scott. So, we're off to a good start here.
When I'm not revolutionizing the branding scene, I'm soaking in classics like Seinfeld, Gilmore Girls, and The Office. But also crochet, do crossword puzzles. I think this is so on brand for me because I also love Golden Girls (according to Buzzfeed's expert analysis, I'm the legendary Rose Nylund). All I'm doing here is blending comedy with a legacy-driven brand experience.
Prepare your tissues, folks. It's time for my sob story. Ever since I was a kid, I loved art and drawing. That's it. That's the story. It's a sob story because here I am today, still doing it. No, let me tell you, I went to a school to become a customer service/marketing person. Graduated. I went to a school to become a game art designer. Switched to marketing in social media (about a year left in studies) and here I am. Still doing art. Well, disruptive brand strategy and bold design to be exact, but you get the point.
coffee cups drank. 1M of those were cold
Before Moose Anchors started dominating the branding game, we were all about teaching people random facts through our graphics. We were basically hoping to be discovered like half of the waitstaff in LA. But one day, I took a sip of my extra shot of espresso latte and it was like an awakening. Suddenly, I was thrust into a world of brand strategy and design, and I never looked back. Now, I spend my days creating bold brands and teaching people about disruptive brand strategy. And let me tell you, Moose Anchors isn't just a name, it's a legend. It came from me, a non-native English speaker, accidentally calling my stuffed moose's antlers "anchors." I mean, I forgot the actual name for years, but who cares? It's unique, it's memorable, and it's Moose Anchors.
If you wanna be a kickass, disruptive brand like us, you gotta know what the heck you stand for. That means figuring out what floats your boat and what makes you wanna puke, so you can get people to relate to your brand like a BFF. Here at Moose Anchors, we're all about making an impact, cracking jokes, spreading good vibes, and embracing the unexpected like a long-lost lover. We're all about helping you let loose, make people smile, and leave 'em feeling like they just hit the jackpot.
Our vision is to elevate your clients, the real people, to the forefront of your business. We live in a world where customers often become just another statistic, but we're rewriting the story because we want to celebrate humanity. This era we're living on is fixated on cold calls and collecting leads. And too many brands have lost their depth. Businesses have forgotten to create a legit relationship and connection with their clients and we're here to change that. All while making business fun again with disruptive brand strategy and bold brand design.
That was a joke. I'm a any-caf addict. Any type, any kind, I will take it. Our mission is to create brands that will knock your socks off, leaving your customers so overjoyed that they'll start doing cartwheels. We don't just make you look good, we make you stand out like a sore thumb. We create brands that are so magnetic, you'll have to wear gloves just to keep from sticking to your computer screen. And with a bold character like ours, you'll be the talk of the town, the envy of your competitors, and the apple of your customers' eyes.
Are you feeling invisible right now? Your competitors are stealing customers faster than Usain Bolt runs 100 meters. But fret not, standing out is what we do. With disruptive brand strategy and bold brand strategies, we'll elevate you from just another face in the crowd to the life of the party. Your potential clients start being able to tell you apart from your rivals, you're no longer just "meh" to them. Your brand will become the go-to, the talk of the town, the one they all want to know. Let me help you be the obvious choice in your niche, so you'll be as hot as a latte in the middle of winter.
You looking this good? It’s jail. Absolute jail. Next time I see you with your new bold disruptive brand, I’m going to put handcuffs on you and take you to jail. Firstname, you can't expect to stand out in your niche with a brand that's as timeless as a rock. Prepare for a bold brand strategy breakout. No more timeless, rock like branding for you. We're here to infuse your identity with wit, edge, and your unique essence. Ready to become the market shaking disruptor with a design so magnetic, auroras are jealous? Get set to be the brand that's not just seen but sought after. Escape the branding beige, it's time to make your brand illegally good.
I'm all about websites, and you know what I love more than a good website? A website that converts like a dream. Say goodbye to websites that resemble an ugly Christmas sweater and hello to a legacy-driven digital experience. With our touch, your brand becomes so engaging, so disruptive, it’ll have the crowd—and yes, even grandma—coming back for more. Elevate your online presence with us, where every click feels like an exclusive invite to the coolest club in town. Ready to transform your site into the ultimate conversion engine?
libra sun and rising. cancer moon. enneagram 9. infp
the office, parks & rec, gilmore girls
taylor swift, of monsters & men, odesza
autumn, but also winter, and spring, and summer
being in the nature, reading, hiking
Season of choice
brown sugar oatmilk shaken espresso
My go to coffee order
confused (90% of the time)
Ok, listen, I know you're not a criminal, but if you think you can skip out on branding your business, you’re going straight to jail. I'll even come to your trial and bring some popcorn to watch you get sentenced to branding purgatory. But I know you're smarter than that, you’re aiming for a legacy-driven brand experience that’ll send the competition to the nursery. You’re here for that bold, market-shaking disruption that sets fire to the old playbook. Because let’s face it, you're done playing hide and seek with success. It’s time to craft the standout, strategic brand that’s been dancing in your head. No more delays, just daring moves and a brand that's all you.
No more late-night staring contests with your computer screen, hoping that some magic branding fairy will appear with the perfect design. Nope, we're talking about a real strategy here, something so good it'll make your pizza taste like victory. And let me tell you, I've been in those shoes before, and it's not a fun place to be. That's why I'm here to help you create the brand of your dreams. Or, if you prefer, I can recommend some organic bug spray that's as effective as a feather duster. Your call!
"You're going to get so much more out of this experience than just a beautiful, cohesive brand. The clarity and brand strategy that you develop along the way is PRICELESS! This is the exact thing you need to take your business to the next level."
So, you're here because you want to make a real splash with your brand, huh? Well, let me tell you, we're not here to play small. We're talking bold, loud, and in-your-face branding that'll make your competitors cry. And let's not forget about the warm and fuzzy feeling you'll get when your clients are praising your new disruptive bold brand. Oh, and don't worry about making a decision, there's a button waiting for you below that'll magically solve all your branding problems with just one click. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy!